trinityofblood

2009-10-07T15:11:00.000-07:00

A dear friend of mine has inspired me to write this little article and well i'd suppose i'd give my 2-cents worth. Its 6 am in the morning and i can't sleep till i've got this over and done with.

The What Ifs ....

Taking a glance back in time does give a glimpse of the what ifs in our lives. We often sit and question ourselves, "What if i had done that back then?"

its a matter of perspective really. Have you ever considered weighing the pros and cons to a particular event and the outcome of that decision was not really what you truly desired? How about, .... regret, I'm pretty sure that regret dwells within the best of us. Somewhere, deep down inside, there's that one little thing that you feel that you should have done, but didn't, which could've altered the outcome of that decision.

The So What(s) ....

the fact of the matter is, its there, its done, its gone, its over. So What? we can't change it. we've already made the decision. it really doesn't do much more to dwell on the issue. Just imagine, 20 years of sitting down, listening to your parents bitch about each other. there's really only so much i can take. You can't change the past, you can't change your decision, you can change what you're gonna do about it now. If you're in a relationship and you're feeling the strains of it, don't ask yourself "why oh why did you choose that person?", ask yourself "what was it that made you fall in love with him/her?".

What about "I shouldn't have let her go." So he/she is gone, its not the end of the world, no its not. You won't believe how many times i've felt like its the end of the world, but its not. you sit down and question yourself, for hours, pondering over her smile, her touch, her smell (reverse it for female readers). And Now, that person is with someone else and you kick yourself in the ass, smart move, joe. Are you gonna sit there and wallow in self pity while this person goes off with some dude that doesn't deserve her? Or should you grow some balls and fight for that person. Its really a matter of choice. A good friend once said to me "if she's ever loved you, it'll be easy for her to love you again." So true, yet most of us lack the courage to compete, because we feel inadequate, we feel like we've lost the right.

Nobody has. its really what you make of it, and how much pride are you willing to swallow. Just so you know, this doesn't just apply to lovers, friends too :)

Just One More thing ....

Just because you got dumped, its not the end of the world, and i know that you know, but you feel like it is. There's always that one more person out there who really wants to you, and maybe you don't know, or you're just blind to it, oblivious to the obvious. whatever the case, get over it. because that one person who really wants you will most probably treat you 300% better than the asshole/(unknownfemaleversion) that dumped you. So? just because there's someone therefore you gotta settle for less? hey, value is really how you perceive it to be. A buddy of mine once said, "You never really marry the person you love the most" and its true, you most probably won't, and you'll end up at the "what ifs section" then you read down and and find that its really so what you do with it. Live with it and make the best or .... continue with regret.

If you ask me, thats some pretty heavy shit that you gotta bear with all the regrets and what ifs tying you down.

who am i? just another guy with another opinion. take this however you want, you can be outraged, empathetic, apathetic or whatever you feel like. up for discussion anytime, anywhere :)

2009-10-07T15:08:00.000-07:00

So i've decided to take this thing somewhere else. instead of rambling on and on about my life, i've decided that its high time we talk about the other things in life. No bitching, or random mockery, .... maybe a bit. however i've decided to take this journalism thing one step ahead. since i have this already why not?

2008-10-25T07:31:00.000-07:00

arghhh .... blasted nooblegobbleshitfuck* what a rookie mistake !?????? may i get smite by holy fire.

its a couple more days left, just a couple. Blasted shitass lecturer can't gooblefuck for nuts. makes noobie comments and lectures about the obvious. now we're stuck in this wickedly sick paper that will fuck me up.

2008-08-19T23:40:00.000-07:00

"Wan Wan, Move a little closer so i can take a real pic""Thats just gay"

"OKkkkkkkkkayyyyyy..... i wasn't expecting that close, but that works out"

"But seriously Wan, WTF"

2008-08-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

There it was. sitting inside my ipod all this while. James Morrison. This guy has a beautiful voice. not sure whats up with the choice of acoustic and singers as compared to usual house music that i listen to.

2008-08-10T12:13:00.000-07:00

alright i'm back from the dead, the com has been resurrected and performing better than before. this time, no virus is gonna touch my computer.

2008-07-29T06:31:00.000-07:00

okay i mean its not my place to say anything. i can't question singapore culture. thats just the way it is. but seriously, i have been going through inter-mitten sleep hearing chinese wayang (symbols, chijmes, drums, organ and actors) and the hokkien auctioneer. if nothing else cuts close to that it would be the drunk people after screaming downstairs after the little event thats going on. This is .... "The Chinese Culture Event of the Year" in my face. Imagine wanking off to Chinese Wayang. Thats just sick and downright wrong.

2008-07-27T03:26:00.000-07:00

the night is darkest before the dawn. and that holds true.

the dawn is coming.

2008-07-11T09:49:00.000-07:00

I am in love.

Corrine May has a heavenly voice, and her lyrics, oh the lyrics.

2008-07-09T04:23:00.000-07:00

Iphone: S$1200.00

Cab fare down to

St Patrick's Boys School: S$09.50

Catching Gerald Dig His Nose

in front of a participant: Priceless

For everything else there's MasterCard

2008-07-08T22:02:00.001-07:00

it was one of those long drives down from Ipoh to Singapore, in between songs of Corrine May and Olivia Ong, both of which are local artistes, We start talking about dream cars, like my very own Porsche Boxster (coming soon). and then wilson cooly says "People who drive cars like these are arrogant, and are showing off that they are rich" well it isn't the exact quote, but there a likeness to some degree. I in turn replied "Dude, whether i'm rich or not, i'm still arrogant. :)"

2008-07-05T07:36:00.000-07:00

And So I'm back from the longest time ever have i left this space. Things come one full circle, of which i'd suppose its time to pick up the pen again.

And so i start on a new page, with a new things to write about. Where to start, Where to start?

Its been an interesting experience, this past couple of months. I've learnt a great deal about the people in the world, and how our perceptions are only skewed to what we perceive to be true. from here on out it will be a full assault of eccentricity. weird is the word per say. But wait, what am i saying here? it doesn't really make sense, does it? of course not, just some random ramblings i'd like to start on before proceeding on to the main course.

The trip to Jakarta has widen my horizons, it spells the fact that there are more things to learn, more people to meet, and ultimately more experiences to add into my memory. that makes me sound like a computer.

Rule of thumb is, if you've never been to Indonesia, or anywhere outside of Singapore, prepare for a mad rush to the loo every once in while, 4 hours or less to be precise, the food is going in is as good as going out, they've got really good food, just that the shit after that feels even better.

Peering through the oval shaped windows of the airplane cabin as we landed was somewhat peculiar, i was thinking that it was clouds and fog that was covering the line of sight of what seemed to be the mainland and the airport. I was, however, corrected by Kyrie, that is, in fact how the air is over there. Talk about OD on Carbon Monoxide, full blast up your nose, and in between, the funny scent of McDonald's French Fries and Monoxide, there's this strange smell of something burning, like my bag caught on fire except its not burning. The overall first impression of the place led me to wonder, "how do people live here?" It seems like humans have this instinct of survivability, and can therefore adapt to wherever they reside.

The wait at the airport has definitely taught me one thing, Never ask a person if they're the person you think they are, because 10 out of 10 times, they're not.

The gentleman that was supposed to fetch us was waiting for us outside of the airport, while kyrie and myself pranced around inside the airport looking for a sign that says "AKLTG". obviously, there was no such sign with a person holding it.

Gary dropped a message to us saying "Look for Pak MuMu, he's a short old dude with a bit of facial hair. Call him at this number ********* he only speaks Bahasa." Great going Gary. And like a idiot, i went up to a couple of dudes asking "Pak MuMu?" and this was the only Bahasa i knew other than "Tandas Uppa??" if it hasn't occured to him, No.1 neither of us spoke bahasa, No.2 There were 2 dozen men who stood around fitting the description he gave us. No.3 even if we called him, we'd have a nice time deciphering what he was saying. Gary, you've reached a new height of ambiguity and nominalization. I salute you.

(to be continued) Gotta leave now, i'm gonna meet boy wonder Gary Lee to pick gerald up from the airport.

2008-03-16T10:03:00.000-07:00

Had a drive
Driven by your love
But when you messed around
I lost the drive I found

Thought you needed
Needed someone true
But you changed your mind
Or had I failed you?

Wish you’d been
Careful with my heart
But you tore it apart
And broke an angel’s heart

The kiss was true
Has to end somehow
But I am livin’ proof of what love is about

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

You played me on
Played me like a clown
But I feel for you
Eventhough I’m down

My heart is heavy
Heavy like a rock
But I am so amused
You’re still in my thoughts

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I gotta know
Should I stay or should I go?

Oooohh…should I stay?
Should I go?

It’s hard holding you
Loving you, losing you
It’s sad to be true
And be fooled by you
I don’t know (I don’t know)
I wanna know
Should I stay or should I…?

This time its done
It’ll never feel the same
But we had some good times
Guess it’s sad just the same

I guess the truth
Doesn’t matter somehow
But you were livin’ proof of what love is about

2007-08-05T06:52:00.000-07:00

constantly drifting betweens the parallels
Hope Despair
extremes that are being pushed to the brim of an everyday affair
two polars of extreme emotions and all that they carry with them,
their meaning, messages that thrust forward
Whats my purpose?

2007-05-19T23:41:00.001-07:00

i noticed i don't write much anymore. i've been taken over by a lot of other things. maybe i'll start something else here. whatever it is, i don't really want to pen down my thoughts anymore. it seems so cumbersome having to carry around so much.
but i guess this will all change once i get a phone i can blog on. anywhere, anytime. *Laughs* so in the mean time i suppose this place will just float in cyberspace until i can find some practical and good use to it.
thanks all who check in once in awhile. its disappointing i know. but i'm changing. like i always do, i figured i haven't stopped changing for awhile now. constantly changing, remolding, remodeling.

2007-04-16T07:19:00.000-07:00

my road is ahead is shady, for only God knows what is to come. I cannot say lets plan for it, because i do not know what tomorrow holds.
i once thought off the many things i could do, the many things i should do, and yet at this point, i am powerless, i know. it is not my place to judge.
for you who have forsaken us, was it release that you sought?
for you has made me feel alive, why have you taken it away?
i know not what i can do right now, only He can answer my questions, only He can hear my prayers.
Oh Lord, please give me strength for another day. please give me wisdom that i pray.
thank you Lord for all that i have.

2007-04-08T17:15:00.000-07:00

hey okay so this were some of the things that i missed reporting last month. well actually 2 months ago.
Wilson and Wen Bing's Birthday!
was looking through my photos and found these.
the other one is of my cousin Dan, he's only 9, and he's quite the star i must say, of the annual hwang family dinner we've had every year. ermmm ... he's singing tequilla sunrise. which, isn't from our era.

2007-04-01T04:25:00.000-07:00

"i've seen angels, they envy us. because we are mortal, because any moment may be our very last, there will never be another you, nor will there be another me, we will never be here again, we will never feel the same feelings in the same way ever again, which makes it so much more beautiful than it really is, we humans that are born to die, with death written in our eternal destiny. when the earth swallows our bones and the dust has gone from them, our names will be forgotten in the ripple of time, but yours will live on in my heart, with a dying breath i sing a hymn of sadness and pain, to remind myself of the bliss that we shared, in those days, in those days."

2007-04-01T04:19:00.000-07:00

"before my time is done, i will look down upon your corpse and smile"

2007-03-23T05:02:00.000-07:00

we said hello, bid goodbye, hugged and kissed, and went on our way.
was it meant to be any other way?
was there an alternative to this end?
looking back on all the tears we left behind, there was much more to be said.
but no one spoke another word, too afraid to rake up what was very much forgotten.
no one comes here anymore.
at least not for now.
in solitude, parallel worlds that stare across each other, somewhere around the world, simultaneous exchange of words and feelings that will never reach the other side, no matter how much we scream the silent words inside.
am i in the way?
should i move aside?
more questions pour in endlessly as we meander on.

2007-02-22T19:34:00.000-08:00

You Are 24% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.

You are at low risk for having a borderline personality. It is unlikely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at low risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is unlikely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

2007-02-22T19:14:00.000-08:00

Your Quirk Factor: 83%

You're beyond quirky... You're downright bizarre.You've lost touch with social norms and what's appropriate. And you're loving every minute of it!

How Quirky Are You?

2007-02-10T21:57:00.000-08:00

and so its finally over, and its just begun. how quaint feelings resurface after clawing underneath for so long.

in a state of unrest as the heart turmoils even longer, self abuse, physically, emotionally, mentally.

i don't want another me, just another you.

2007-01-21T19:30:00.000-08:00

"cleaning out your room is like cleaning out your head" quoted by my mum.

indeed i've found another therapeutic thing other than cleaning the toilet. well it seems like from this week onwards i'm gonna have to be doing alot more things as the time approaches. its funny how i always wanted to grow up when i was a kid, to do the adult stuff. now that i've reached there, it doesn't seem so appealing anymore. it seems like when i've reached the age of 21 i would automatically be an adult, unfortunately i find that i'm still maturing. so as to speak i'm not as matured as i would like to be.

as i sit in my room and ponder continuously about all these, i begin to find alot of things that start to lose their novelty, like going clubbing, or staying out late at night, it all seems so pointless now that i've reached that stage. even drinking and getting drunk has lost its appeal.

for every void that has been filled is now void again, i really need something more enriching and constructive to fill those voids in.

2007-01-15T20:12:00.000-08:00

"the night rained blood and cherry blossoms as i stalked into the deep of the dark, with every lie befounds a truth that will set us free from adversity, i lay down to justify my flight, knees bent with fury yet to cease. Run away or stay this way?"

my words are not dead, as do my actions are hard to understand. sometimes i do not understand them myself. but with my own flawed reason and logic, i have chosen a road most will say that i am crazy.

A dozen weeks draw to the empty start to the fresh year greeted by fresh pastures and new blooms. perspectives are changed in course of history and will continue throughout. will this be the renewing of a continued faith long cast aside?

"when we look back into our earlier years, we will look back and regret those things that we didn't do rather than ones that we did."

i apologise if my writing's heavy and difficult to digest. for all wish light reading, i'm sure dawn yang is much appealing compared to the likes of me. thank you all for sharing your comments and sentiments.

2006-12-13T21:39:00.000-08:00

"not caring about who anyone was, they embraced, raised their voices, beat drums, forgetting themselves and continued to dance to the flicker of a flame in the twilight"

why should a man continue to strive for goodness out of his own heart when what embraces him is continual distrust and suspicion. for it is then should he be viewed as malicious, ugly and coniving because of his ability, or should he be viewed as a talent and beautiful in his own ways.

there comes a time where one meets a cross road to self-destruction and external glorification. how then should a choice be made without crossing the boundries of self preservation.

if there are things a man should hate, he will hate being maligned and wronged in his intentions above everything else. there are no seconds or thirds because the first outweighs everything else.

because his saviour bore the sins of the world on his shoulders, should he follow to do the same? when he is misunderstood, the fears of others will cause repulsion, his intentions may seem good, but well intentions have met fear and jealousy at every turn of the history of man.

Jesus Christ of Nazereth, Joan of Arc, Peter Simon and countless more. Killed by the very people they loved and cherished.

2006-12-10T18:19:00.000-08:00

"to not care about life or death, happiness or sorrow, worry or security, weakness or strength and search for a path of linearity. to not have a care in the world, not fazed by money or fame, move to achieving one objective of a righteous cause, how often are people mistaken to be crazed and labelled nothing more than zealots or fanatics. And there he was, as he always did, performing what he was suppose to all along, his eyes shone like those of a Saint, how i relished for a chance to see through those eyes.-"

in times of need, the world searches for a hero, and there are many to be found, even so, heroes themselves are just normal you and i's bound by our worldly desires and dreams. heroes have fears and will despair. Heroes are you and me.

no i haven't watched another superhero action flick. you know our heroes don't have to actually be from some fictional character made up by a comic artist. countless times have i questioned my friends, who do you feel is a strong person, like a hero, many a times i always get answers like my grandfather, my father, my brother, my mother.

My Parents are heroes in their own ways, they're strong because they need to to be, although seperated, they've always slugged it out, and have gotten to where they are. My mum may not be a physically strong person, but mentally and emotionally she's made of adamantium. My dad's got balls of steel, he'll dare do anything, of course he takes calculated risks. and so we run one full circle, i start out with hate and jealousy of what my family has become, and yet it has come down to this, this being that being in a incomplete family, still has its joys, and i can still look up to my parents for what they have done for themselves and for me.

It is misguided how people have a formed a misrepresentation that heroes are only people who have saved someone from a car wreck or a burning building.

Heroes are also people who fight every single day to bring back the food, clothes and other things. they come home to rest their battleworn bodies and tend to their wounds.

What i want to bring across is, please don't fight with them when they come home, they've fought with the world outside already, they need some loving when they reach back okay?

Sorry i haven't been updating, many things have been happening internally, of course nobody knows the turmoil. i struggle daily. for all whom have shown their concern i really thank you, you've shown me that people care, for all who didn't bother because you were too busy with your own struggles, i understand and thank you too, for teaching me about what your lives are forging, perhaps great destiny in the making, for those who don't care, thank you for showing that there are somethings to pay attention to, and somethings that aren't worth much.

To all the people that have summed up my life, thank you for appearing, disappearing, and what now, you've added more value than you realised.

2006-11-24T02:54:00.000-08:00

hey, its exam time again. you look around do your projects and before you know it, its that time of the year again. so i'm wondering right now as i'm studying for it, i've only got 2 semesters left for my course before i go into the big "U" and that's barely half a year.
i wonder how i'm going to be doing inside there. a degree is a degree. the levels are definately going to be off the charts that i'm in right now, and the people that i'm going to meet there too. oh wells. anyway wish me luck everyone, i'll be looking to do my best this semester looking at how devastating it was the last one.
toodaloo.

2006-11-18T22:41:00.000-08:00

i need to find something to get my mind of things, its throbbing, my head. i can't seem to concentrate. i find myself drifting off into space remembering about various events. spinning in circles round and round. its starting more by the minute of 2. nostalgia overtakes as sentiments set in with a blink or 2 of novelty, a cruel note to sing the song welcoming of next year bringing end to this. help me Father God, help me please! i'm broken and bleeding.

2006-11-17T08:44:00.000-08:00

birds weren't born to fly, they grew wings and learnt to fly
angels were taught to soar, they spreaded their wings and flew up high
i was never meant to go up high, i will spread my wings and reach for the sky

2006-11-11T20:24:00.000-08:00

okay guys to make up for lost time and fill you in on what's been going on, i'll have to do massive picture display this round.

it was halloween at and we crashed zouk!
This was john and his pack
i thought this would be scary
Neo G.I.Jane and ???
This was the only question that i was asked the whole night after people got a shock looking into my face and exclaiming "Scary!", "what are you supposed to be?"
Our projects are finally over and this was the high light of the entire human resource presentation.

Pretty isn't she?

2006-10-22T01:26:00.000-07:00

can't see why everyone is complaining about the damn haze. yeah sure it looks a little cloudy on the outside, and gary keeps slamming some cyclist on the road that he's smoking, its not like this thing has never happened before, every year it happens. i mean we were burning stuff like just 2 months ago, don't see anybody complaining about that.

2006-10-21T02:57:00.000-07:00

2006-10-21T02:48:00.000-07:00

okay one happy birthday to uncle jack. although he's only a year older but he really looks uncle-ish.
okay okay its halloween soon, we had a field day at this place called costumes constumes or something like that. check it out.

here's charlie

easter bunny

charlie again with horns

me being horny too.

charlie again with a ..... i don't know what that is.

Samurai!

Sambrero...

this might be the closest i'll ever get to wearing that damn square hat. might be. haha! still working on it now.
by the way, uncle jack isn't in any costume, that's him originally.

2006-10-09T03:21:00.000-07:00

lin quek has gone off to yorke. will miss you girl. please take care and come back with your square hat alright ? i'll be seeing you online.

2006-10-07T05:18:00.000-07:00

The stretch of my memory is rolling as a snowball accumulating regret.
My imagination of warmth is elusive.
Walking toward a desert with no color, i'm wishing as i'm looking into an ocean of still tears.
Tinted and cracked plaster is what's left in me.

2006-10-04T04:16:00.000-07:00

hey all, sorry for not posting in such a long time. i've been bashing myself but all that has come to an end. i apologise for the tinge of remorse here and there. anyway it was a really awesome weekend and i'm looking forward to the many things that await me. Really great way to start the semester.

this is what people do in children's church, its a joy i tell ya.

and here's the story of Esau and His brother Joshua

Along side with a lot of emotion that's been put into it. Awwww! Brotherly love
Sean And Kern (hope i spelt your name right).
Lin's church was absolutely fun. the kids were really adorable too. although i hate kids, but they were just really too cute.
i'll be aiming to get triple A's this semester - public announcement! haha! aiming. so its like a public committment. the last one was crap and i kept giving myself excuses not to do well. oh well, this term is a fresh beginning of an end. and what better way than with positive note. so far the lecturers are really enthusiastic and interesting. i'll be looking forward to marketing! seniors have claimed that its the most popular and a favourite among all students.

2006-09-28T16:24:00.000-07:00

torned, broken and bled dry. nothing hurts more than this that i feel right now.

2006-09-22T12:25:00.000-07:00

presenting: Alice in Wonderland

by salvadore dali

2006-09-18T03:09:00.000-07:00

oh yeah, here are some of the pics that i haven't uploaded from the last iag camps.

2006-09-18T02:57:00.000-07:00

and so it is that i turn one year older. doesn't feel any different from the past.
thanks to all who celebrate with me last night while we watching soccer. i really appreciate you guys for being there.
special thanks to gary for arranging a big part of it for 2 nights in a row. haha i was pleasently suprised that i got 2 cakes in the last 2 days. although he remembers it as the 17th. thanks to kim for the dinner and just the hanging out at your place. to all the wonderful people that wished me and remembered. to alexis for the wonderful birthday present. thanks for not giving me tibits this year. you guys rock my sox

2006-09-12T23:47:00.000-07:00

jealousy kills from the inside out. even though its not suppose to happen, its not supposed to feel this way but it does, even if i already knew. jealousy stings its bitter scorn deep within my soul. And because of this emotion, anger and hate springs new life. i might just as well self destruct if left unchecked.

2006-09-11T04:25:00.000-07:00

a world where time could stop and move on by like it did not exist. mixed with an element of the

it becomes an island with no knowledge of the outside world, like a time capsule that remains

unchanged by the world oustide until it is ready.

"i live my life with abundance and passion because My Father granted me so, and so it has

become of greatness and love because of he"

2006-09-11T04:12:00.000-07:00

and the days of old had passed, all that was left of us were memories shared and untold till the ends of time in an ageless cyber space. to whence forth it will be uncovered in many a times when friends are gathered in reminisce of moments that we endured.

the laughter and tears both intertwined.

the laughter and tears both intertwined.
"i say to thee, we are only made up of our memories and nothing else of it, because without them we are nothing. void of soul and character"
and so these memories continue on, one by one, creating their place in my void. and to lose them would be very most painful in the most testing, of days.

2006-09-08T16:49:00.000-07:00

if i had the chance to do it all over again i would definately want to do it differently. then again, the choices i'm presented with every allows me to do so, to keep restarting. i struggle with myself every single day, i struggle to find out the true self within me.
there are things that have been said and done, and i know i can't change it, but if i could, i would have given that first few my very best, even though i was afraid, afraid of getting hurt. but there isn't a difference now.

2006-09-01T09:48:00.000-07:00

alright alright happy birthday to kelly. you're eighteen and a full fledged young adult. officially you can go to clubs and hang out at bars. it was one wacky night that ended up with a terrible hangover. but the funny thing was you weren't there.

this is the power of the calender. special applaude goes out to brian of the full on category. and no... that's not green tea he's holding in his hand. all who were there will know how smelly eunice's hand is. special acknowledgement goes to her also.
hey everyone. thanks for tuning in. more updates. today is the last paper of the term. lets take a look at how stressing it can be for some people
.
this was the level of intensity melvin and brian had for OB. pulling their hair back and going full on. or maybe it was just the Gin.
we've come to the end of the semester, and here's where the gnashing begins, waiting for results and hoping not to take a sub. but we can't help it. lesson learnt this term. practice. no practice, sub-paper. practice, main paper. but i've not reached that stage yet. next sem, i'm going to go full on. believe you me, it was more painful cramming every bit of stats in on the final moments of my impending doom. it seems like it was the only paper that i wasn't prepared for.
to be continued ...

2006-08-30T03:24:00.000-07:00

i haven't really been home for the past weekend. and neither did these guys. i think the studying must have did something to them cause they started doing weird things like this.
melvin and his thinking hair band was a hit with the girls. we also have eunice who took burying her face in her books quite literally.

2006-08-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

alright ladies, this was the only clear shot that i got. the others were kinda blurry. it was weird cause kit chan's face was kinda censored by the reflection of the glass, and she was supposebly the main attraction.

2006-08-24T19:31:00.000-07:00

Alright, for all you guys who missed thara's b'day party yesterday, yes, she's 19. a night filled with smokey bbq and monkeying around.
To thara: Happy birthday! once again.

Bryan was the master chef for the night as plucked out his culinary skills to bbq chicken and other stuff. tasted pretty good too.

hmm.. we have 2 new faces here, one's eunice (girl with the stripe shirt) and clement. Nuf said.
i would have taken more but my battery ran out. hahah, after this we went back to thara and roslie's place for more gathering. playing cards and just informal chit-chat. exams' round the corner. study smart everyone.

2006-08-23T04:08:00.000-07:00

hey guys haven't checked in for awhile. okay here's what's been happening lately. i'll explain as i go along with the pics.

it was an evening of reminisce as my camp mates and i met up at ming cai's birthday part. 21st birthday by the way. the whole night we just sat and talked about what everybody was doing. it seems like everyone is getting pretty well with their lives after the army. its been six months after we've left and these guys haven't changed yet. On top you can see lionel with his girlfriend dora, same girl that sent him off at the airport when we left for thailand last year on an exercise. he hasn't changed one bit either. always got a point to prove. but he's alright. (he's the guy in the red bull t-shirt). this happened on the 16th of this month by the way.
the other one is bernard, currently in NUS. hmm ... he's pretty much one of the low key but well liked by everyone in camp.
so far, nothing major is happening except for the impending exams. (i love exams!) the thrill of grinding your teeth as your keep your eyes glued to book to source out for information. this will all end sometime next week. and then another month of holidays (groan!) well this is it, its the end of this chapter of school, for now. today's the last class. and to end it all off our teacher prepared a trailer of some penguins singing a (spanish>?) version of frank sinatra's "i did it my way" his was the class i enjoyed the most this sem.
to all who've been here so far, thanks for gracing me with your presence. i really thank you.
to kim: thanks for the small encouragements along the way
to wil: thanks for the late nights
to gary: thanks for more late nights and many brainstorming
to marti: small talk here and there
georgeia: helping out with the laptop
to diana: helping out with economics
to alex: for lending me your textbook(although i'm not sure if you read)
to john, shalini, jesh, carol, thidar, mimi, margereth, arti: thank you guys for working with me this sem to get the grades that we have right now. couldn't have done it without you guys. To jesh especially whom i've clashed with on a series of occasions, i know i'm dificult to work with, maybe i put in so much and care too much also. thank you everyone once again. its been a tough semester but we've pulled through.

2006-08-17T08:45:00.000-07:00

I can see the pain in you,
I can see the love in you,
but fighting all the demons will take time,
it will take
time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever are we ever
gonna learn to fly,
the devils they burn inside of us,
are we ever gonna
come back down come around,
I'm always gonna worry about the things that
could make us cold
if I was to give in - give it up - and then
take a breath - make it deep cause it might be
the last one
you get be the last one that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us
cold
thank you zachary max, for putting this song on, and so the song must go on. i would like to think that you're an emo. but you're an emo with a great appreciation for good music.

2006-08-15T07:12:00.000-07:00

"all the world's a stage my friend and you shall play the hero in a tragic love story filled with despair, agony, pain, anguish, hurt and sorrow. in this play, the hero must pass the test to win back his love by going through a series of tests."

"the first test! you must first survive an island no bigger than 3000 sqft, it has 2 coconut trees that have a steady supply of 5 coconuts everyweek. although there will no doubt be a great demand for coconuts, the supplier of the coconuts will be reluctant to supply more as the trees have formed a union and will go on strike should their employer ask them to work any longer than (lets see here, 7 divided by 5, oh wait, saturday and sundays are weekends) 9 am - 5 pm to produce 1 coconut. should the demand decrease thus a creating a surplus of goods, a warehouse no bigger than 2 meters will be available within the vicinity to help with storage. a coconut has the shelf life of approximately 2 weeks. upon which, will produce a very sour stench that adds on to the corrosion that the sea waves bring in.

One way to increase productivity would be to trade with sea monkeys or turtles, they bring in fresh sea weed that could be used dried and eaten. its also more rationable because the seaweed can be eaten in proportion. this will no doubt be a substitute for coconuts.

opening a storefront wouldn't be such a bad idea to deal with oncoming ships that pass by. because of the scarcity of coconuts within the market place in the area, selling the coconuts and seaweed at a high price would no doubt bring in extra profit to deal with other ships passing in the area. if all goes well, forming a conglomerate would most definately be possible with the high influx of ships that pass by on a dail basis. one must keep in mind that the import and export of foreign goods will be passed through customs at the port so therefore be sure that merchants importing goods are thoroughly examined with all the proper papers. check for drugs and other illegal items. all items found to be illegal will be confiscated, things such as liquor will be stored inside the 2 meter warehouse for personal consumption and if the chance should arise that a foreign import includes a refridgerator, take it. fridges are a complementory product to liquor and will be useful should you want to sell them in a bundle. here on in, you can sell your confiscated goods to the black market and earn a tidy sum from the nothing that you've put.

in time, we will have to draw up a supply and demand curve to measure whether or not our port on producing at the market equillibrium to ensure continual productivity and satisfaction to the customers. should the need arise, in a quick need to increase the demand prices must be lowered to meet the equillibrium. Producing both coconut and seaweed along the production possibility frontier, we can see that if the demand for coconut increases, there will be a movement along the curve to meet the demands.

to be continued ......

"rather bit'o activity going on ere' eh"

2006-08-11T00:49:00.000-07:00

Alrighty, another round of introductions, and here we go! WEEeeeeee!

ermmm.... i don't have time to write a long description of everyone but i'll do my best to include everyone
first pic we have sutris and danny(who has a standard set of questions that he asks people from time to time, namely"hey! how are you?") i know cause i get them. interesting fellow.
up next from left to right we have jessicca(whose all sugar spice like something nice-powerpuff) and ying ren(he's toubgh and he's buff but he ain't no fluff).
Next up the guy with dyed hair is bryan (really into WOW), june, kevin whose standard question always seems to be "have you seen ying ren?".
following picture: Pauline (the chick who likes cricket, and all the other stuff that guys likewhich is pretty neat, like a dude stuck in lady's bod) and the boyfriend (not much is known about he boyfriend because it seems like he doesn't really interact much).
The last one is this dude called melvin. we got some pretty good conversations going, decent chap to talk to if you ask me. bright too.
Finally! we've come to the end of all projects. exams in 3 weeks. study hard & cross your elbows knees and toes. hope we all pull through this one.

2006-08-11T00:41:00.000-07:00

hey there, its good to know once in awhile that when you travel down to the beach and have dinner there, you're gonna pay $9.50 for a plate of chicken chop which you didn't order of a menu because it got lost in the hundreds of people that are dining at some place which doubles the price of everything just for ambience. i'm suprised they charge GST and extra service charges for the beer girl girl whom by the way lydia knows and asks if you would like to have some calsberg. Calsberg by the way is extremely bitter and its a wonder how my grandfather kept drinking it for years. anyway here are some pics from that night at the beach.

Everyone, kalai is leaving AK and has moved on from there to further her studies. lets give her a round of applause and take out our party poppers to celebrate for her.

you'll be missed kalai, i'm sure by your ILP kids. by the way thank you for your handphone thing with my name on it.

things sure are moving so quickly. now you see them, now you don't.

2006-08-08T20:15:00.000-07:00

the last few days have been slightly hectic. running from one place to another. but its more focused now. i've taken up a new hobby and i don't have to do anything at all. playing tony robbins' voice in the background while i sleep at night. i'm not sure if anything is going in but i'm sleep less, waking up early and less groggy so something seems to be working.
anyway here are some peeks from yesterday night's steamboat.

ermm ... it was kinda awkward for awhile last night but i warmed up eventually. john mentioned recently that i wasn't really a people person. for a classified extrovert like me, it sounded pretty true. i'm more closed up than appear to be. maybe i'm more introverted rather than extrovered.

anyway the night ended off about 1.30 over at wilson's place with a shitload of whey protein testing.

the taste still lingers.

bleah*

2006-08-08T12:01:00.000-07:00

Hopes and wishes,

Passion and tenderness,

They were so close,

And so dearly to me,

I couldn't believe,

What was coming,

In my life.

All those hopes,

I had for us,

When the distances,

Between us,

Were still warm.

When night came,

You were right there,

Beside me.

When you came,

To my house,

We sat and watched,

The stars.

All those wishes,

Of not separating,

Upon tomorrow.

Wishes,

Of the distances,

We will never,

Be far from,

Each other.

Wishes,

Of love,

Of caress.

Passion,

Was only there,

When you were,

Still in my hands.

You were in,

My passionate heart,

And I knew,

You were the right,

One for me.

Tenderness,

When you kissed,

My lips,

And whispered,

Your lovely praises,

On me.

Everything in my life,

Was love,

And more love,

With you.Now,

They are only heartbreak.

Heartbreak,

To see you walk away.

Heartbreak,

To let you,

Slip away from,

My hands.

2006-08-08T11:28:00.000-07:00

to overcome others, i must first overcome myself
everything starts from within
know yourself but not your enemy
your victory will be half complete
know yourself, know your enemy
a hundred battles will be won
know the mountains and the rain
and your victory will be complete

a teacher once told me that a good general will win a hundred battles, but can still lose an entire war.

a teacher once told me that the greatest general does not need to fight any battle, neither does he cause either side to lose a single soldier, and can win a thousand wars.

but who can stand against a man

who does not stand on his own

but relies on God's guiding hand

2006-08-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

seems like i've lost my head somewhere. its all falling apart i tell ya. so hell week part 1 has gone and now we're looking at part 2 along the line. if you have a chance, go catch Adam Sandler's latest movie, Click.

you know what, i really enjoy watching movies. they tell a story and gets you involved inside. more importantly, they teach a few morals. like this latest one. the moral of the whole story is there are some things that are worth savouring, even if they are unpleasent, there are things worth remembering, no matter how short lived, if you don't pay attention to the things that matter to you, when you lose them, you'll start regretting, but by then, its too late. right now i'm beginning to wish that i did something more, but i know i can't go back to that time. all i can do right now is begin to do something more worthwhile.

thinking back i'd like to just take this opportunity to acknowledge a few people who've been by my side these few days and just for talking to me

Gary + girlfriend

Wilson

John

thanks guys for taking my crap.

p.s: just a random thought, guys write down random streams of conciousness, women write about day to day events, and even though i write random stuff, i feel a little better after that. even if it doesn't make sense its alright.

goodnight world and the people in view.

2006-08-05T10:56:00.000-07:00

morning, welcome to a day in the life of me and some of my fellow mates that i hang around in school with. i'll intro them as we go along.

Everyone, meet john michael, british-philipinoy razzel your dazzel smooth operating fast talker in class, he's the guy i hang out with mostly in class. sorta cool in his own way i guess. we kinda hit it off on the first day. of course there the occasional run ins when it comes down to project work because of differing opinions. then again, my friends, someone you can always count on if you need a hand.

Ladies and Gents, give it up once again for mr morris john michael.

Likewise, presenting the ever dashing with stripes and banners to weave in between, on the left with have pherdian(ithinkthat's howwe spell it) and stefen tjin :) whose somehow got a really cool name on the right. both ballers and good at what they do, its suprising how they managed to have struck a pose with the 3 secs that i gave them to prepare before taking this pic. Both these guys are your jokers, they're classic when it comes down to the pun.

Next up we have gabril(ithinkthat'show youspellit) and grace. upon meeting them, kim mentioned how uncannily this couple has both their names starting with the letter 'g'. something which i didn't really pay attention to at first. hmmm. anyway it looks like they're going on a saturday night fever fuse it with that 70s. Grace is a on of a kind that constantly smiles and laughs while gabril is a one of kinda that constantly makes people laugh. Really good pair.

okay in order from the right, we have jamie, kristine, jean and the person on the extreme right is not a butch, that's boxun and he's a guy(sorry bo). Jamie's the bubbly kind, you can imagine. Kristine would seem to be the type that's constantly frowning, also the type that would explode if anything goes wrong. but she's got her good side. jean would be the cool calm and collected one seemingly in the group with who seems to have no temper whatsoever. And finally we have Bo, smoothtalkerpimpyallladiesboy whose a pretty okay dude actually.

the thing is day in day out, we meet people, in our class along the way to school or work. i wonder whether we stop by to actually ask, what's this person's day like, how can i as an acquintance make a difference in this person's life, do i even care about the person that i'm talking to. or do i just live day by day. hmm ... sometimes the things that we take granted for most would be the people that sit right beside us. for all i know, these people may end up as some of the best friends i could ever have. i've figured something along the course after getting some feedback. strange enough, i've been described as introverted and reserved. maybe its time to really have some fun and focusing on being competitive at the same time, making new friends in the process.

2006-08-04T14:15:00.000-07:00

ever find yourself slipping back into a place you'd never want to back to?
its like crawling into a hole to die out the rest of your life.
haha. you know what, good things come by the dozen,
but bad things come in a bunch. one after the other.
and so it proceeds on without a shadow of doubt.
the end is near. judgement awaits.

2006-07-30T11:27:00.000-07:00

so it comes down to this, the end of everything,

a big start to something else.

it seems like there are things worth holding on to

but the harder my grip, the more these things struggle to break lose

other things that i want gone seem bent on staying.

life is so ironical sometimes

destiny is inescapable tis it appears in a nasty shade of grey